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We all hope to meet someone who makes us feel like one of the people in the picture above. Lately, I've met men who have never been raised around dogs and view them as an animal that belongs outdoors. I've always seen my dogs as members of our household. Both views are realistic, yet as I get older, I'm finding that I've become less tolerant of men who view dogs as a nuisance.Many times, dogs are a non-issue when you meet someone special. In the beginning of a relationship, it's about discovering one another and enjoying time together. Many people are willing to put the little things like whether or not they like pets aside when they first start dating and then a short while later, their true feelings come out. If one person loves animals and the other would rather be without them, this can be a huge source of contention for the relationship.
I remember watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians one time and there was a scene where Kim's fiance Kris introduced her to his dogs. He was very sure she would warm up to them and then you see her saying to the camera "I love dogs but love them from a distance". When I saw that, the first thing that went off in my head was "RED FLAG". I was hoping that it was something they would overcome. Well, you know the rest.
When I met my late GF about 12 years ago, I had exactly this fear, since my housemate had cats, and my GF was allergic to them. I was really worried about how that would affect our relationship, but fortunately she was very patient about it and our relationship developed nicely!
ReplyDeleteI could totally understand about allergies, because that's beyond a person's control. The situations I have a problem with is when a person chooses to not be open to having a pet in their life. I'm glad it all worked out though. Thanks for writing.
DeleteHi Elena,
ReplyDeleteIt looks like I checked your blog at the right time as this article is right up my alley! :) The points you've made are great and I can see how conflicting views on dogs could come between a relationship as it develops.
There are a whole host of differing passions, hobbies and interests that a partner might have and I think it is more about showing an interest in each other's enthusiasm rather than having to actively embrace everything.
I know I can't speak for everyone but I imagine it is more important that a potential partner doesn't show active disinterest in having dogs in their life, rather than having to equal that passion and love for dogs. I always bring up things such as this that are important to me as early in the dating phase as possible, to find out as quickly as possible if there will be future contention.
What I am rather clumsily trying to say is that active disinterest in anything I am passionate about is a turn-off to me and I probably wouldn't want to date someone who had negative beliefs about anything that is part of my life!
Heidi and I have recently been talking about getting a pet of our own (a dog being an option of course) but I think that unless we are both 100% prepared and committed to the idea it would be unfair on both the dog and our relationship.
I hope 2012 is treating you well so far and thanks for the interesting read. :)
Sam
Hi Sam! Things are well but hectic with projects lately. I hope the year has been good so far for you as well.
DeleteI totally agree with what you say in active disinterest. I guess I've met too many men who fall into that category. It all depends on the person though.
That's wonderful that you and Heidi are considering getting a pet down the road. It's a big decision and it sounds like you're both being pragmatic about it. Thanks for writing in.
Elena :)